How to write a book full of cliches

“In the beginning, there was the Word. But in the end there only is Cliché.” – Stanislaw Lem

Writing a book full of clichés must be somewhat similar to those “worst essay” writing contests often held in English Departments in Universities everywhere, but certainly it involves a whole different level of irony!

A book full of clichés is a species of kitsch, fake art. Some of the qualities of a kitsch book: it may contain disingenuous remarks and appear ostentatious, be simple enough for the unwashed masses and easily marketable.

Kitsch is the byproduct of the middle class, for it highlights the sheer boredom of their lives. Unlike the masterpieces in the works of the genius, kitsch does not possess elitist qualities or appeal to snobbery.In order to establish a book riddled with clichés, some formula needs to be followed:

Narration: stock phrases that don’t really mean anything. i.e., have a nice day)

Formulaic plot: very predictable story, often depending on a very well-known story arc

Character Archetypes: they must be one-dimensional lacking anything interesting, or well-defined motivation

Dialogue: consists of quotations (they cannot contain any insights, mere bromides or tired phrases often said by dullards)

And this, of course, calls for a clichéd quote:

“It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then, like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.” – Stephen Fry

Published by


...a philosophisticator who utters heresies, thinks theothanatologically and draws like Kirby on steroids.