NFL week 14 picks

A successful 9-4 weekend has put a bounce in my steps. Now sitting pretty at 85-53. On with the picks!

Game of the Week
Eagles @ Cowboys

Should be the most fun game to watch. After stumbling about like a drunk Quasimodo for half of the year, Cowboys are entirely rejuvenated under interim coach Garrett, beating legitimate teams like Colts & Giants, and losing to the Saints by 3. The Eagles are no longer invincible (Bears exposed them) but they’re still an elite team. This game should be a high scoring shoot-out, unlike last night or the Ravens-Steelers tilt. Vick will make enough plays to steal this one. Eagles by 4

Patriots @ Bears
Stumbling a bit vs. the Lions last Sunday (4 point win) proved that the Bears aren’t truly an elite team. Their powerhouse defense will always keep them in a game, but I still don’t trust Cutler to pull off a clutch victory. The Patriots OTOH are on a high, after destroying the Jets, along with every shred of Rex Ryan’s credibility. No, the Pats won’t treat the Bears the same way, but they’ll win comfortably. Pats by 8

If it’s on
Ravens @ Texans
Ravens didn’t really show up last Sunday night. Despite beating up Pittsburgh for 55 minutes, they let the Steelers hang around long enough to steal the game in the end. The Texans on the other hand, played the Eagles very well, and they have enough offense to score on the overrated Ravens defense. Texans by 3

Chiefs @ Chargers
KC sputtered to a measly 10 points vs. Denver. Weak, but we should forgive them with a mulligan. QB Cassel has steadily improved over this year, and their running game remains potent. Now, like me, you gotta be flabbergasted over the Chargers’ belly-up performance vs. Oakland. Yes, the Raiders are no pushovers, but were the Bolts looking past them? KC is 2 games up so the Chargers have no choice but to take them seriously and stop reading their press clippings. Chargers by 8

Rams @ Saints
Yes, the Rams are #1 in the NFC West. But that is less about them and more about their craptacularly crappy division than themselves. A couple of weapons like a WR or 2 and talent on D will turn them into a legitimate contender next year. But it’s 2010, and the Saints are no longer fooling around this time of the year. Saints by 10

Raiders @ Jaguars
Should be an interesting match-up, where both are coming off solid wins last Sunday. The Raiders forced the Chargers into one-dimensional offense by shutting down their weak running game, and unleash the black & silver pass defense. But the Jags love to shove the ball down defenses throat with Maurice Jones Drew’s relentless rushing, and thus they’re too balanced to let the Raiders dictate their offense. Jags by 4

Giants @ Vikings
Even though backup QB Jackson led the team to a 30 point win last week, they’ll still stick with Favre. But that won’t matter cuz neither will make a difference vs. the Giants. It’ll be close, though, but the Giants are hitting on more cylinders than the Vikings at this point. Giants by 4

Colts @ Titans
Peyton Manning used to be the most steady QB in the league, but not after tossing 13 picks in the last 5 games. It’s official: Manning is in the worst slump in his career. It’s a combination of things – injuries to WR corps, declining OL, and no threat in the backfield to take the pressure of him. Manning will continue to be aggressive, though. The Titans themselves are in a much worse slump however, scoring a combined 6 points the last 2 games. Ship be sinkin’. Colts by 11

Visit your mother
Dolphins @ Jets
Dolphins actually have been better on defense recently, but they still have a QB problem: they don’t have one. They may be able to give Jets QB Sanchez a rough time, but he has a sturdy running game to fall back on. Jets are probably a collectively embarrassed group and would like nothing but a chance to redeem themselves after getting pantsed on national TV last night. Jets by 9

Broncos @ Cards
Both teams scored 6 points each last week. However, the Broncos have been far more potent than that, and despite being a home game for Cards, I’m going with the horses. Cards probably regret letting Leinart go for pennies. Broncos by 7

Seahawks @ 49ers
This kind of game will only prove who is the worse team, not the better one cuz the winner won’t feel so special after the game. They both suck regardless. 49ers by 6

Packers @ Lions
With loads of potential, Detroit is on the verge of being a real team, but they haven’t put it together yet. QB Rodgers and the Packers will take full advantage of Detroit’s lack of consistent defense. Packers by 16

Falcons @ Panthers
The falcons are the best team in the NFC (having defeated Saints, Ravens, Packers, and a surprisingly tough team in Bucs twice), and now 10-2. Panthers on the other hand, at 1-11, are the worst team in the league. It will stop being funny by halftime. Falcons by 20

Buccaneers @ Deadskins
Bucs have trouble with elite teams, which means they’re not the real McCoy. But as a team on the rise, their future is extremely bright with QB Freeman & WR Williams. Washington OTOH has nothing but a mismatch between two bitter & unhappy guys in Coach Shanahan & QB McNabb. Bucs by 8

Bengals @ Steelers
Believe it or not, the game will be close. The Bengals were actually up 30 to 27 vs. the Saints, & it could’ve gone to OT were it not for a horrible case of brain-lock. Pittsburgh redeemed themselves with a big time win over the Ravens, but nothing impressive. Don’t see the Steelers repeating such a sloppy game again. Steelers by 3

Toilet Bowl game of the week
Browns @ Bills

Sweet… Fancy… MOSES! Browns escaped last week vs. the Dolphins, thanks to Chad the first’s 3 picks. Bills are the second-worst team in the league, and will not be able to slow down the Great White Hope in RB Hilis. Browns by 7

Published by


...a philosophisticator who utters heresies, thinks theothanatologically and draws like Kirby on steroids.

Leave a Reply